THE HUMBLE LEGENDS

An idea is what matters! – Self Made

I have successfully stuck to my new year plan and have made time to blog at least once a month. For all of those who do not know my profession, I am a crazy hat among the Indian media industry. I work for one of the top decor magazines in the world – ELLE DECOR INDIA and fortunately had the chance to recently be a part of a large scaled design exhibit – INDIA DESIGN ID 2015 in the capital, New Delhi.

With over several months of hard-work, chaos, madness, late working nights and absolutely no personal life for these few weeks, our team was turning psychotic. We had days where we fell like we’ll drop dead and longed for everything to just start and get over. With the final days on head, it was a happy sight to see our exhibitors, speakers, organizers, general audience all well in place and everyone with happy faces when the event got over. We all were a delighted team when we got back home after a week of madness and months of hard-work.

What I as an individual take back with me is important and some of which I felt like sharing with my readers today. The event being a design and decor related one, we had some of the most famous and largely experienced professionals of the world who had come down to share their views on the global design industry. To name a few, we had Fumihiko Maki, Janne Kyttanen, Paola Navone, Sebastian Wrong, Patricia Urquiola, Giulio Cappellini and many more top Indian professionals too who dined, shared and spent their tight schedules with all of us as a team.

How amazed I was to see all these legendary people, one who has designed the Twin Towers, USA, another who is a master in 3D designing, thirdly who has a grounded business of chandeliers that are sold to the palaces of the world and many more great fields of innovative work. The key to each of their lives is how they stuck to a simple idea, carved it, protected it and turned it into an empire. Secondly, the most important crux to my experience was the attitude these professionals had towards us as organizers, towards the general audience and towards their own lives – they lived and progressed with the most HUMBLE attitude. It is an absolute inspiration to see and learn how to keep your head high as well as be grounded to the ethics of your life.

Personally being a social individual with no attitude of judgment towards others, it was inspiring to see how these legends did not mind stopping down to learn from someone so inexperienced than them or to even share some of the basic roots of their industry to people who were clueless and sitting to attend their session. I personally feel it takes a lot of guts and grit to not let the fame enter your head and on the other hand be so accessible to everyone around you, something that Indians as a breed should learn.

You can check the details of the event here: http://www.indiadesignid.com/

CREATE OR DESTROY?

If we believe in God – Find out where God stays and if we don’t believe – then its scary to know that no one is in charge of a revolving Earth! – Self Made

Wishing all of you a Happy New Year. I am sure by now all my readers are aware of the fact that I am the biggest procrastinator one will ever find. However, it took me a month to make up a new year resolution, which is to blog every month without fail and also to hopefully start a new tab for a daily or weekly write-up!

I have been wanting to pen down my thoughts on Religion with a specific focus to the concept of God. I trickily fall into the category between Believers & Atheists. Been born to parents who follow two different religions, I was given the freedom to follow either, both or none. I resorted to following the Universe which serves as God to me. For me, the super-power doesn’t have a name, a face, a book, a gender or a set of guidelines. The power only has me attached to itself through faith, belief and pure happiness. It may sound weird or funny to my readers that I have conversations with God, just like how you would talk to a friend. I do not know any kind of scripts nor do I know the name of million Gods that various religions have, but I am still connected to God and I am a happy person at the end of the day!

With an understanding by many people around me who have explained their thoughts and beliefs over a specific religion or ethics, I can only draw one conclusion from all – is that every religion, book and ethics say the same thing in different ways.So when everyone is saying the same thing, why is your God Bad and mine better? Or why do you have to kill in the name of God and teach people that they will attain salvation? Why is there more destruction of lives rather than creation of values? and endless other thoughts to which no one has an answer.

With an alarming rate of terrorist activities, the base to destruction is the comparison of religions or a point to be proven about a specific religious activity. I wish to understand how does one cold bloodily shoot 132 school kids in the safest place for a child (Peshawar School Attack), shoot random people having coffee at a cafe (Sydney Hostage Crisis) or even worst shooting people who voice an opinion (Charlie Hebdo Attack). There are hundreds of other killings every day in various parts of the world and none of them are less important than the ones I have mentioned. What is the outcome of all these killings? – Broken Hearts, Frustration, Anger or merely becoming thick skinned until it happens to you or your close one?

No one has the answers and no one has the solutions. It all remains a game of business, dirty politics, fame, name, tonnes of money and a proof that there seems to be no hope left! All I wish to do right now is to look at the Universe above and ask for it to gulp down the negativity that we cause, wash away the filthy terrorists and shower some magic on the human race so that we start behaving like the ones God created us for rather than the ones God would want to destroy!

P.S – All of the above are purely my views and this blog post does not communicate any kind of disrespect to any Religion / God / Books / Ethics.

COMPLETING ONE-FOURTH OF MY LIFE – BIRTHDAY SPECIAL :)

At least you are not old as what you’ll be next year – Unknown

Yes, Yes, Yes! It has been two odd months since I haven’t blogged and all I have done is procrastinate. (Hopefully one thing I wish to change in myself this birthday). So this weekend I enter the famous ‘Quarter Life Crisis’ / 25 years as everyone says! Pondering over what I should write, I felt the need to share ten important learning’s of my life over the years with everyone especially girls.

• Understanding the power & pride of being a GIRL – This quality is based on a lot of factors, not only on one’s individual identity. Luckily brought up by parents who treat daughters like angels, I have never been around a rigid patriarchal arena. In the kind of society we live, it usually takes time for a girl to have the guts and speak up. I am happy to be one of those few and am proud to stick to it for the rest of my life. I am not a feminist, I just believe in the idea of being at par with the other gender.
• Standing up for yourself – Gone are those days when your father, boyfriend or husband stood up for you. It is definitely the most sweetest thing for any man to do, but it is equally important for girls to learn that they have the rights to say, feel and do things as they please (I meant, the practical ideas girls!!) Thankfully I have learnt to do so and it definitely makes me feel strong. Getting backed by your men is the other side, first learn to stand up and owe up to who you are!
• Your early 20’s are to live alone – The only way of learning to take and manage shit is when you have the guts to move out of your comfort zone – ‘Home’. No Mom, No Dad and No Servants to help! Moving to a new city is the best starting point to a liberated life of your own. Living independently, on your own terms and learning from those zillion mistakes you make everyday is what brings out the best in you. Thank you Mumbai for being my second and most favorite home. (Almost a decade for me!)
• Experience life in another country – It is important to become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from the same social background. This is how you see and understand the world around you. I have spent weeks with solely myself, thankfully which made me know who I am and where I need to head. Thank you UK for being one big eye-opener to me.
• Learn to say NO – It is one of the most difficult things to do but you need to at some point of time. You have the right to say No to whatever and whoever you want, may it be your best friend or a weird leech who is all over you. Saying No is not wrong, compromising with the blunder because you do not know how to say No is worst. Personally having done it quite a few times, must have made me an enemy but it is worth in the end.
• Falling in Love – Ahem Ahem!! (cough cough). Yes the one and only ‘Lovvvvvveeeeeeeee’ topic. It is necessary to fall in love with one , two , few or many but it is. The only expression which can set you free or tie you up forever. But it is worth to at least experience it once before you are married. I might sound wrong to all the parents reading this but yes uncles & aunties it is necessary for your beta and beti to fall in love, have a crush or fall head over heels on someone before they get married. It is absolutely daft to learn about love after being married, not that I am against the ideas of arranged marriage. (Sorry oldies!)
• Learning to ‘Let Go’ –   Till date one of the most difficult things to do especially for a person like me who gets attached too easily (Stupid Me). Some people and things come into your life for a reason and some come in for seasons. For however long they stick around, it is important to remember that they will go someday. Such is life and you have to let them go! It may be your best friend shifting a country, a break up with your loved one, the death of your pet or the end of an era (school life). You have to let go of everything and everyone at some point of time. I mastered this tact during my time in UK, and it is best when you let go without grudges, regret and a heavy heart.
• Having the right friends – I have always been a social person and like people around me. I have over 500 friends on Facebook who wish me on my wall every birthday. On the other hand I have only a handful of them who are inevitably beside me like a pillar when I need to cry / howl or dance around a bush in happiness. It is not important to have a big group, it is important to have friends with a big heart. (Awww, I am becoming a philosopher)
• To be aspiring and have a bucket list – No matter how cheesy it sounds, never loose hope or not have a list in your head. It may be crazy, childish or weird but that is the fun. Have a list in your head of things you want to do in life as well as life goals / ethics that you would want to stick to forever. These small points make you look forward to life ahead. I have mine saved up in a fancy word doc in the corner of my hard drive. Yes, I started penning down stuff since I was in college! (And I am not embarrassed)
• Be Thankful – Always remember, someone is having it worse than you in some part of the world. On the other hand, there is also someone who is always going to be better off than you. The thing to keep in mind is that you are good in whatever you have. Making the most out of things around you, being good to people around and working hard is the best mantra. I have luckily never experienced the feeling of Jealousy and I hope I never do. I am happy, blessed and content with whatever, whoever and wherever I am in in life today. (Touchwood)

A Happy 25th Birthday to me 🙂

THE OTHER SIDE – WHICH IS NOT SO GREEN!

“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been” – William Golding 

My sincere apologies for not writing too often and keeping up with my Blog. With a month of procrastinating and a month of holidaying, I am back to write on something that I have been thinking of since ever.

I have been boiling inside with few thoughts of the ever debated topic called RAPE.  Back in 2012, when the Delhi Gang Rape, one of the most horrible rape incidents in the world occurred, as a woman I have been screaming in my head to think of it and feel the pain. Days and months after the incident, hundreds of cases are heard off every day and all I do is continue to boil inside. Every time I thought of penning down some views, I told myself nothing will change and there is no point writing, discussing or even sharing my view on the topic. As people say, every cloud bursts in the end, so have I after watching one strong video that has finally urged me to share some ideas & views on what the world is becoming and how we as women, the so called second gender that survives on the other side of the grass which feels is not so green.

There are two sides of a coin (1) Create and call for change (2) Quit and focus on yourself. From where I see it, the world has opted for the latter part. With rapes and assaults becoming so common, everyone has resorted to taking care of their daughters, their wives, their girlfriends and their sisters. No one really pays heed to another person’s daughter, wife, girlfriend or sister. Why?? Because it is not Theirs. In such a situation who should takes such crimes by the head and slit it so that it doesn’t happen again?? The only and last resort to bring control of some kind and to some extent is Law & Order. Stopping such crimes altogether is expecting for way too much from the society which is filled with more beasts than humans. Asking for a complete stoppage to such incidents is basically expecting the change in mentality of the society and a core average man who knows, feels and breathes in the idea of him being more important, powerful and the last resort to everything. Thus calling for a strict decorum of the law & order worldwide is something women need and are pleading for since centuries.

I ponder and think why words like rape, molest, murder, assault, attack, violate, disrespect have become a common lingo in the newspapers, magazines and social media. With such commonality people treat these incidents as ‘just another case’. Personally analysing why rapes occur, why do women get molested, why do acid attacks take place and a million other ‘WHY’s in my head, the only answer I can think of is, our Gender? Being a female in this male world is the biggest issue. While there are a dozen of good men around who truly believe in equal space for their counterparts, there are thrice the amounts of men who do not understand this logic. Where and how do you eradicate the misunderstanding, the basic sense of respecting the life of another person even if it is a SHE and not a HE. Where does one start from in the first place. There is lack of awareness and a million loopholes in every strategy that one tries to build.

With 25 years of my existence and fortunately a fair thought of view, I personally feel that the Universe gave life and in two forms for every living organism – The Male & Female. In most cases, the Male being physically stronger and the Female gifted with the ability to procreate and give birth. With the ability of taking immense pain throughout her life and the biggest physical pain of giving birth, I am yet confused how Men are still considered stronger. Moving onto general concepts, it is a fact that there is a fair share to both genders having different categories ruled out for their own sections and one must keep to that. For instance, being feminine can be understood as a concept where women are milder, they are beautiful; they can use market materials to enhance their beauty and so on. With respect to that, however there should be no confusion of women not being able to work as productively as men, to not dress in a certain manner, to not have equal fun as their counterparts and other irrelevant misconceptions which harm and bring stagnation into the normal life of a woman.

In the end, all we ask for is the acceptance of our Gender with Respect & Dignity. Till then there would not be any Light to the End of this Tunnel.

P.S – All of the above are purely my views and this article does not communicate any kind of disrespect to Men in any form.

Video Link: http://bit.ly/1lG4kND

Delhi Gang Rape Case: http://bit.ly/1kSxduJ

SOME FRIENDSHIPS NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE!

Some people become your friends, while others remain as pillars throughout! – Myself

In 2007, almost 8 years ago I met these pillars of my life. Few who had come down from various parts of the country with bags and dreams packed, just like Me and some who were from Mumbai itself – the city that never sleeps. As a kid, one of my biggest dreams has always been to stay in Mumbai, live independently and live my life on my own terms. It all sounds extremely exciting until you step into a city alone and are left to swim in that dark blue ocean. (Please note I am a hydrophobic, so I was obviously sinking!)

A month late into college (due to delayed procedures in getting my admission), I was a silent cow sitting on one of the lonely benches in the classroom without any friends or company. Angels in the picture above came to my rescue when they approached me to join their group as a member for some project. I worked my way through and we all became friends over the next few weeks.

With weeks transforming into months and months transforming into years, we all have grown from strangers to friends and from friends to pillars. Only a person who has stayed alone in a new city without any known contacts and people to rely on would understand how important it is to start life afresh with the right set of people around you.

Mumbai as a city gives you its best in the form of a life, a new beginning, interesting experiences and most importantly new people who tend to stand beside you throughout. It also consumes a lot of your energy and patience through its way and standard of living. But I cannot be more than grateful to this city for giving me a life that I always dreamt of and some of the most loyal friends who have been through my years of growing up and have managed to stick around throughout.

As time passed, one of us got married, another entered the acting industry, one fell in love, another shifted to UK and I who also worked for couple of years and then shifted to UK for my masters. Reflecting on the past, it is interesting to note that all of us have grown up and so much changed, there have been times when we do not speak for weeks, let alone managing a get-together, crucial occasions which one of us might have missed on and would never be able to compensate for while some times when all of us are just there for the one that needs us – it may be through a call / chat or skype!

Having met my bunch of girlies last night, few of them after a very long time and one of them after almost two years, I tend to realize that no matter the distances, time differences and gaps that we all have been through – we will always remain those five girls who met in college.

P.S – I owe a Big Thank-you to all the other unnamed friends, some who are a part of me, some who have changed cities, some who are not in touch and some who have lost contact – all of them who have played their own roles in my life and have helped in the smallest way possible – my journey wouldn’t have been possible without you.

 

 

 

 

THAT ‘LOST’ FRIEND

 

“The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said or never explained”

Some people just have a charisma about themselves. The way they talk, behave, make you feel, just the way they are! Exactly so, was a friend of mine. Ahmed Shata – a tall, suave looking – charismatic person who was born and bred in Egypt and had come down to the United Kingdom for his Masters, just like me!

I still recall the first time I met him, I jumped with joy – not because he was good-looking, it was because I had been trying to look for a classmate throughout my induction week & hadn’t found any. At last I had found someone in one of the introductory programs sitting right behind me who touched me on my back asking if I was in the same course like him to which I smiled so wide and actually got him scared. 🙂 #funtimes

Time passed by and we became good friends throughout the year over the endless coffee sessions, late night projects & essays, crazy Friday night parties with his patent jagger moves, debates over Egypt and the revolutions, family gossips and not to forget – all the bitching we did over our lecturers who treated us more like PHD students rather than Masters. What an amazing & memorable year it was!

And then, within a blink I completed my Masters and it was time to part to our own world, where we all belonged and where we came from. He was leaving the next day and I recall how we all as a group had planned to go for a dinner together as a farewell. We had casually met under one of the accommodation building and it was freezing & raining heavily (typical UK weather) where we all were deciding what time to meet and who will pick-up whom. After a final plan, I casually hugged him and had said a bye, knowing that I ll be seeing him in the night! That was the last time I saw him.

He had messaged all of us that night that he wouldn’t make it to the dinner and had flew away to Egypt due to urgent circumstances. I recall how sad I was that I couldn’t say a proper bye! Time passed and we were in touch for a month till I shifted back to India and soon after I lost contact with him. Without leaving a stone unturned, till date I have been trying to get in touch with that ‘lost’ friend of mine who I shared such fun times together and who never responded or got back!

There are vague assumptions that I sit and make in my head, but it ll always remain vague until I do not have a concrete reason as to where is he now. I hope to have that day soon! Our lives get so busy and we get so fragmented into our daily chores that we forget about all those people who were once so important, close and the best of buddies with whom we shared our life with, even if it was for that brief period. I genuinely wish, hope & pray the best for him wherever he is and hopefully wish he gets back to all of us one day!

P.S – The picture above is with him in the middle, Georgia – one of my best friends towards his left and pretty me towards his right !

 

 

 

THE TWISTED RIGHT

 

“Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it”

What is the definition of ‘Right’ ? – I have pondered over that for quite a while now and have come to understand that every person has their own customized version of being right or feeling right. There is no specific or general definition of what is right and what is wrong. At times, even the most wrong things and wrong doings are absolutely right for the person who is doing and feeling it.

Faced with a million choices in our lifetime and a few everyday, we are expected to choose from the ones given to us. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes it feels like you ll never be able to get through it. With the human body designed in a particular way with two major organs : the heart and the brain. Both being equally important to us but ironically, ones that work together in two separate ways makes it difficult to come to a conclusion. Choices made either depend on your heart’s calling or your brain’s order. There are very few decisions which are in complete sync of the both and where you are completely happy wholeheartedly and with all your mind.

Having faced with many such situations where I have needed a heart and mind to work together, I have personally chose to listen to both and come to a decision which is Right and Fruitful. Such situations are never easy and no one comes out alive in a happy manner. A part of you always remains onto the other side – the side which you did not choose. But as a rule of fact, when you do the right thing, it hurts everyone or affects everything less in the longer run. Ironically, emotions make us take a right decision only for that moment of time and the practical side of us takes a right decision for the rest of our lives.

You can view it either way, depends on what you feel is Right! : )

LOVE YOURSELF

When is the last time you actually did something solely for yourself without and incy bit of thought where you gave in to how people would think or how will your partner feel or is it right or questioned yourself ?

It is absolutely normal to feel all of the above and if you are one born and brought up in a country like India, the thought of considering the impact of your personal decision on the society has always held more weight as compared to what you actually want to do !

I come across people who I know and some of whom are acquaintances, most of all who breathe in and breathe out decisions about their daily life on the basis of how others think and feel rather than how they themselves internalize it. It is a good thing as far as it doesn’t harm a portion of your personal growth or hinders with your personal happiness.

On a personal front, I am the soft Indian girl too who gives a lot of consideration to many of my decisions and its impact on my family and friends. However, a boundary of my personal life lies within me which I do not let anyone enter or harm as it is the small little piece of meat that I own solely for myself.

People of all genders and ages are least content with how their life is spent and is on a constant urge of improving themselves or cribbing about how things can get better. How about spending a day with yourself and accepting yourself for the way you are and so is the society. Being happy in your own skin is an easy task and which everybody can possess, it just needs to be given thought an that extra push !

P.S – Love Yourself else No one else will.

THE CHANGED PERSON

Sincere and Genuine apologies to all my readers for being the procrastinating freak who took five odd months to sit down and write.

The interesting thing to note is how much these five months have moved me to reflect, understand and realize how much things have changed and the amount to which I have grown. With the last post and the last me writing (in August 2013) – placed in UK as a student whose worldly pressures were different, outlook to every new day was vague and the persistent thoughts of returning to my motherland which was immensely overwhelming.

Having moved back to India – my motherland, the place which I am closely attached in every possible manner, the happiness knew no bounds. The first few weeks had been hazy with the overflowing emotions of my closed ones and the warm smell of home. As time passed, when home wasn’t my comfort zone anymore, when time came for me to fly away again to my most favorite city – Mumbai which has always given me so much happiness and equally a lot of pain is where I landed quietly. The streets welcomed me as they had always done, however with minor changes which proved big when people who I knew became a memory and the city appeared like a totally new brand place. How blessed I am to find shiny new elements in the city who come to make me believe that Mumbai takes away a lot but always gives you back something memorable in return. Fortunately having gained new pillars in the city, the place seems different, more encouraging, worthy and livelier than ever ! The thing to remember is that you get what you are worth, and I think I deserve better which I will get.

Reflecting back to last year, one of the toughest years till date – UK has been one of the best teachers, it gave me lot of love with a pinch of salt. When you let go of things and people, you loose a part of yourself that you had given them, but you definitely gain a new space inside you to welcome better things that you are worth of. It happened to me and it ll happen to you as well.

P.S. – The only thing that heals best is Time ! : )

SELF-LESS LOVE

 

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional – Stephen Kendrick

A midst a busy and hectic schedule of working on my thesis, I have found the time to procrastinate and resort to some blogging. Personally, having spent quality time with myself this year and having being involved into relations of all kinds, may it be through a friend, a colleague, family or dear ones – it astounds me to see the difference of understanding of ‘loving unconditionally’ between the age groups of my parents as compared to my generation.

Being an individual of the current century, however with certain views percolating to how an elder era thinks is something I choose. When I see an old couple together is when I realize and understand how love can actually be or how it can turn out! Dating back to the years of my grandparent’s marriage and trickling down to my parent’s 30 years of togetherness, I wonder if I would be able to pull off such a strong base.

We all fall in love at some point in time, may be with the right or wrong person – but we all definitely do and there is no substitute to that feeling. In days that we live, where everything has conditions, so does relations. Where personal gains are chosen more than the idea of togetherness, where ‘I’ come before ‘We’ are ideas that my generation face these days. It seems impossible sometimes to find a person who can actually stick around no matter what or just be themselves with their partners.

I envy the older generations who gave up their liking  their personal lives and compromised a whole lot just to be together. It definitely takes a lot of guts, compassion, mental stability and faith in the other person to do so. Having my mother, be one of the biggest examples who is a foreigner (Trinidad & Tobago), got married to my Dad (Indian) and left all her luxuries and traditions to settle down in a town of India which is completely a different world together is happily married for over 30 years now. I have surprisingly never seen or heard her question anything. On the other hand, my Dad being the most supportive human beings, gave in, encouraged her and most importantly loved her unconditionally so that she never felt away from Home.

Marriage is a beautiful bond between two people who are blessed to spend the rest of their life together. Loving blindly is not something which anyone should opt for, but loving unconditionally is a feeling which is gifted to us as human beings. Personally, not being married or with any experience of how marriages could be or get, I can only hope, wish and have faith to find my soul-mate on the other side who I can assure to be a ‘We’ and an ‘Us’ rather than a ‘You’ and a ‘Me’.