THE TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF AN INDIAN MARRIED LIFE

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” –Anne Frank

I am sure with this kind of headline, more than half of my Indian readers will flip thinking, ‘Yeah, finally someone is writing about this!’. So just to let you know I am more of a positive soul who at least tries to focus on the good aspects than the bad, but on the other hand I have been meaning to vent or rant out on what feels like tribulations behind an Indian marriage. To be specific, not the wedding saga but the life after the Big Fat Indian Wedding!

Personally, having being married for almost three years now, I am a part of this saga too! Funnily and fortunately enough, I haven’t had to face the mega blows of what a usual Indian daughter-in-law goes through (And for that I thank my stars every single day!). However, just to make you married girls out there feel better, I do go through shit sometimes (I am not that lucky as you think!). Well, focussing on my meaningful rant and observations of what life seems like, post a glittery wedding filled of promises and fake smiling faces – in real it tends to be a completely different picture altogether.

With several of my close friends and acquaintances being married and of me having attended most of their weddings, I must let you know that I have been a close spectator of the pre and post wedding drama. While at times, there are instances where you are laughing at most of it, there are also times where you have a friend balling in front of you and all you could do is lie to them on their face by saying, “Hey, all is going to be well! Don’t, you worry”. As a reader abroad, you must be smiling thinking that we Indians are a funny bunch! Well, we are but in not such a hilarious way. Trust me!

If left to my understanding, the major and one of the biggest issues that lies in an Indian lifestyle is Expectations – out of each and everyone and everything. Being the major cause of most marital problems between family members, it is of utmost surprise to me of how and why do people expect and assume so much out of another person, mostly out of the new shiny daughter-in-law who they termed as a daughter in front of her parents (just for the sake of it)?

Just to bring it to notice, I am not here to write about century old issues like dowry, physical tortures, child-bearing expectations and so on. I am here to focus on the really tiny problems that women face in the form of expectations and compulsions from her new family and husbands who are so pressured and torn between his new partner and his family! Women face troubles in the dimensions of simple things like seeking permission to visit her own parents place, keeping a tab on how much she talks to her parents and friends, expecting her to be the world’s best cook and have the best home-maker skills, to hold a masters certificate but still be okay with agreeing to the dumb and unreasonable needs of the family, taking care of her husband like he is a new-born child, leaving her career (because it’s not as important as the husband’s) to attend social functions and a million other reasons that race through my mind currently as I list out. On the other hand, husbands are piled on with societal expectations and are dictated with lectures on how his wife should be trained by him to become the perfect new member of the household, how he should have a say in everything she does, the decision of only a certain amount that he should spend on her and so on. To top it, these expectations come from educated and rich families who think they are modern in their thought process but turn out to be big time Failures. While I list all of the above, I agree and accept that there are parameters that should be drawn at the very beginning of any relationship before the chaos starts! But underlining each point and getting someone stressed for every minute detail is not the ‘cool’ way to go.

Many a times, as we all chat with our parents or grand-parents who are more experienced and has worked much harder than us or have seen a lot in compared to our understanding, obviously have a different approach to how married life should be. Based on their own life learnings, if there is anything we should learn or copy is their compassion and dedication towards work and family rather than petty things of living a life wherein you are pleasing everyone except yourself or compelling yourself to old-age practices that make no sense and are just based on random beliefs.

As I understand that its easier said than done and it will always stay so, I feel compelled to make the elder generation and most importantly the relatives and social circle understand that all we require is Acceptance and Understanding. There will never be a way out where both generations agree on a similar approach or way forward. And that is why, instead of compelling couples to do things against their will, try and put your feet in their water! It isn’t necessary that youngsters have to follow your foot-steps and way of life in every single thing they do, instead it is better to share your experience but let them learn from their mistakes and decide a future for themselves. Just Let Them Be! Can you?

Disclaimer: This article has nothing to do with my married life (for all of you that may be making clouds in your head), nothing to do with a feminist approach (I believe in equality and am not trying to be a member of the Mahila Mukti Morcha), nothing to do with a bad day (Aunties & Uncles might feel that some hormones have kicked in and that is why I am on a rant), nothing to do with bad-talking the elder generation (I love both my families and respect them dearly so I have nothing against any oldie here).

This piece is merely a seed-sized thought which is prevalent in the Indian society upon which couples make or break. And of some, which you might be responsible for! 

A LIFE FULL OF GLITTERS & SPARKLES

There is no place like Home! – Unknown

It’s a night of a sky full of glitters and sparkles! Yes, it is Diwali – The Festival of Lights where families and friends bond over good old times. As I sit in some animated sketched pyjamas flopped on the bed with a tub of ice-cream beside me, I can clearly hear the sound of waves and a sky full of light! With excited children playing around and with a decorated neighbourhood, I can smell the spirit of a New Year approaching.

As I see those young kids bursting some crackers and laughing with their friends, it suddenly hits me how time has flown by. Just when I felt like nothing had changed over the years, with a blink of an eye I also felt like everything has! Being a 90’s kid, I cherish the memories of walking hand in hand with my Daddy dearest to buy crackers which burst into the most colourful glitters, days when I rode my bike into the narrowest of streets to purchase rangoli colours and dewy nights when lighting over fifty diyas to decorate home was my favourite job. With years passing by in different cities & countries and luckily being able to spend this beautiful festival with a different set of people, I knew that I always missed home even if it was for a tiny second or minute.

Living alone for many years makes you accustomed with being in love with your own company. And fortunately I still do! I miss days of seldom silence, nights with Maggie for dinner, lazy evenings when I craved to get married so that I would have a permanent partner in crime and Diwali nights like these when walking around a local bazaar gave me so much joy as I looked at lighted stores and decorated streets. Reminiscing your favourite memories and childhood days could get you teary, but it’s beautiful to also know that you have had a bag-full of good days to lean on when you miss home or your life back then!

As I sit and continue to binge on some ice-cream right now, I realise how marriage has changed my life (of-course in good ways). An adoption of different traditions, a responsibility that comes with its own perks and spending the beautiful festival with my new family, sending those Whats-app forwards to old and new friends like every year and lighting the same diyas that I love doing but for a different home which is now mine too. As I drop a happy tear by wishing for peace and happiness in life, the sky brightens up again with glitters and sparkles!

..And deep down I know that I still miss home because that’s where you heart will always be! 🙂

Wishing You All A Happy & Blessed Diwali.

 

A DECADE IN THE CITY OF MUMBAI

Its not so much what you learn about Mumbai, its what you learn about yourself! – Danny Boyle

July 20^th, 2007 –  July 20^th, 2017 – Ten years have flown by and I still feel like that seventeen year old girl packed with bags full of dreams headed to a city which was unknown but it still kept calling me. Hailing from a mix-bred family, with half of my roots in a foreign land of Trinidad (Caribbean) & the other half in a happy town of Anand (India), there was only one more option left for me and that was to add another city (Mumbai) to my identity!

With an unknown and persistent grit in me to leave my home-town and head to the ‘so-called City of Dreams’ in order to do something and become someone eventually got me into this passionate relationship of me and Mumbai. So here I am, a twenty-seven year old reminiscing ten years of her life in this fabulous city.

I do not remember the last time in the recent past where I have been so sure about choosing something, an identity which was calling me out subconsciously. As I was done with school (junior college as they name it in Mumbai) and with a rigid passion to pursue a mass communication course which is well-known in Mumbai – I was head-strong to move out of Gujarat and shift my base to Mumbai. As a young girl then, I never thought of consequences, hard-ships, failures, risks and any other hard-hitting troubles and I guess I am happy about that immaturity and stubbornness which happily led me to Mumbai.

My journey started out with a question mark on everyone’s faces when I broke the news of moving to Mumbai. I had to hear a lot of complains and comments, most of which said that I am never going to make it there OR I will be the girl who drank at clubs and came home late with boys OR I wouldn’t be able to make friends and would come back crying and many more remarks which internally worked positively for me. It only kept me going stronger and rigid about my decision to move out!

For readers abroad, moving out of home at seventeen is a normal thing to do, but it’s definitely not the same in India. Eventually after getting through admissions at one of the most reputed colleges (Sophia College) in the city and solely with the moral support of my parents and family, I had arrived into Mumbai with excitement, a wide ear to ear smile on my face and a little nervousness. It was all going to be good (I told myself in the head) until my Dad dropped me off at a Paying Guest facility where I now knew I was all alone and that is when my journey began (I cried myself to bed that night).

I have lived in Mumbai for ten years now and as I look back at each year, I could only smile at all my experiences (good, bad and horrible) because I know it has been worth every bit! Mumbai has taught me things that I would have never ever learnt in life. From being a soft-spoken timid little child to a strong, bold and independent woman – I owe it to this city that has made me. From days of learning to speak Hindi (thanks to the rickshaw drivers and vegetable vendors / I am still trying to learn Marathi BTW!) to shifting almost ten houses (sitting with stranger agents on their bikes for house hunting and also being taken to a brothel-kinda situation) – I have seen and done it all! From learning how to read the meter in a rickshaw (thanks to all the abuses I have got from rick drivers when I was slow at it) to learning how to jump in and out of a Dadar to Andheri local Mumbai train (I am surprised that I am still alive). From eating delicious street food (let’s not mention the food poisoning stories) to experiencing lavish hotel food (thanks to my PR events hosted there – free food!). From being eve-teased at railways stations (Have lost count on the no. of times that has happened) to having the thick of friends who dropped me home safely on a dark & lonely night (thanks to my guy-friends) – have experienced the worst stalking incidents too! From being literally up all night to complete the never-ending college projects (let’s not start with the amount of paper we wasted) to making Maggie at 4 in the morning just because we are hungry after a dance in the rain on Marine Drive (yes, I have done crazy stuff like this). From having not a single friend in the city for months (I ate, walked and sat alone in college & restaurants) to having a best friend in each corner of the city (I don’t think I could do anything without them)! From having homesick days where I cried my lungs out (and not a single person to hug me tight) to my friends & their families who have welcomed me and served me home-food (Can never forget that) and I shall always be indebted to all of them.

My stories in the city could keep going because no amount written is enough to share my experience and relationship with Mumbai. But in short, if I had to sum up my life in a nut-shell – I am ever so grateful to my dearest Mumbai for giving me an opportunity to start afresh, to make me bolder, to let me stay within it, to keep me safe, to give me experiences of a life-time, to throw the most horrible situations at me but also give me the strength to fight it back, to giving me friends of a life-time who have been angels to me through-out, to giving me my first perfect job and the best work-friends, to cute & tiny apartments where I could barely fit my stuff but still cried when I left each house & to the last and best thing – Being Home to Me.

I have innumerable people to thank but I guess I shall start with my parents who have been supportive throughout and most importantly believing in my dream and allowing me to chase it, my siblings who have been all ears and my foundation pillars, my college friends who have been through thick & thin and sisters to me, my guy group friends who made my life a cake-walk because they were just a phone-call away, all my work friends who have been so helpful and friendly with contacts, sharing tiffin boxes and helping me with house hunting, to all the staff (cooks, maids, drivers) that have worked with me and made my life easier, to all those who came into my life and are still with me and some of those who aren’t – you all are equally special and lastly to my husband for being the sweetheart that he is and his family where I have found myself a permanent home in this dream city of mine!

What would I be without you, Mumbai!?

BEING DOG-PARENTS

 

Happiness is the warmth of a puppy. 

For as long as I could remember, I have always been interested in animals and curious to understand their lives. I was about seven years old when I knew that I really love dogs and I wanted to adopt one. Unfortunately being the only dog-lover in my nuclear family, I was left to only dream of having a dog one day! While I played with stray puppies on the street and pets of my friends and cousins, I always knew and longed for a dog of my own who I would parent someday.

They say ‘dream for it and you may get it all one day!’. My dream was fulfilled almost three years ago when my fiance & I adopted a cuddly palm-sized tri-colour beagle puppy for ourselves. My fiance had known my love for dogs & my dream of having one and thus he gifted me one before we got married. We named our handsome little beagle ‘Romeo’ in the car itself as we brought him home. It was an impromptu decision because in his little ways he proved to us that he’ll woo women off their feet someday which he literally does till date 🙂 #proudmom

My fiance always had dogs previously and so he always knew how to handle and manner them. On the other hand, I was a ball of excitement, wanting to do everything but knew nothing about handling a little puppy! We grew as dog-parents and as time passed, my husband (now) and I have proudly brought up and mannered Romeo as our dog-son.Being a family of three, I am a complete wife and a happy mother!

As I sit with my laptop on my lap and Romeo struggling to fit his head on my lap for some attention, I cannot help but smile on my instinct of why I have always wanted to have a dog. Since the day we brought him home to every single day when I wake up to a happy face and wagging tail, I am content that I have adopted a friend, a son and an angel for life. For those who do not understand what animals could mean and be to humans, I would like them to know that these happy souls are the most gentle creatures filled with so much love and affection. Dogs dedicate their lives to you in the literal sense and changes your life in ways you’ll never know until you have one. As a puppy, we trained Romeo to be a well-mannered dog and in return he has taught me a lot, mainly bringing out all my hidden motherly instincts. Living life with him has been such a joyful ride with so much to learn from him. He has taught me to forgive quickly, becoming more selfless, being happy with the smallest things, enjoying every moment with nature and being curious about life. He talks to me through his eyes, woofs and endless affection and I cannot be more than happy to be his mom forever!

P.S – You could follow my baby on instagram : @romeothebeaglepuppy

CHILDREN AT WAR

“I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, ‘Mother, what was war?'” – Eve Merriam

 

The definition of War goes as “A state of armed conflict between different countries or different groups within a country.” One would never understand the complexity behind this simple statement. With an overview of simplicity and a situation been shown to all of us on the forefront no-one will ever understand the in-depth crisis that people facing war go through.

With different parts of the world being at war currently, most of us who are luckily not experiencing it are pretty much left to assume what other countries and their citizens are up-to. As I sit to read various blogs, articles and write-ups from several writers and common people around the globe, it fascinates me how the idea or feeling of humanity has absolutely no importance and seems to be a negligent part of discussion.

I was a twelve year old when I personally was a victim of the Gujarat riots in 2002. With constant fear on everyone’s mind, curfews in the state and every city, I remember how we passed through three weeks of living on limited supplies in our own home. Our school were shut, we didn’t meet our friends for days and my favourite bakery was burnt by mob groups because the bakery owner was a Muslim. Our fathers used to step out of the house with hockey sticks and Muslim groups used to enter each others areas with burning pyres. There was so much violence, unstable minds, constant fear of something happening to us and even after the riots it took a long time for things to get normal. However, we still live with those horror stories and unforgettable images in our mind till today.

Comparing a three week riot between two communities in front of humongous countries who are at war with each other for years together, I cannot even fathom the loss, madness, fear and wreckage of the country’s base that have been torn to pieces and what the people are experiencing. From changing governments to country politics and the constant urge of instigating or adding fuel to the fire seems to have become everyone’s business.

Amidst a lot of discussions on the topic of war with my family & friends, I have heard of many opinions and all have been legit enough in their own way. However, as I sit to ponder I could see no way in which tiny toddlers and young children being of any fault among all the chaos. Neither have they been the cause of war or neither should they be killed because their parents were a part of the muck! Understanding the functionality behind getting rid of a race and erasing them from the face of the world seems to be the current solution of every country. Sadly this ideology will soon rub off humanity from the globe leaving the generations ahead of us in a soup.

As I write this piece, I want each of my reader to know that I do not believe in any religion or in the name of a particular God. I only believe in a super-power whose energy guides us through our life. I may not wholly understand politics, governments, reasons behind wars or what is right or wrong. But I do know and feel personally that in a war the life of an innocent is affected and lost which is grave! All I hope for our world is love, peace, unity and happiness which isn’t difficult if we all let aside our egos, opinions, anger and disturbed pasts to make the world a better place to live!

P.S – The piece is written by me and is solely my opinion. I do not intend to hurt any community’s sentiments or mock any government’s ideology.

4 YEARS & BEYOND..

As I sat, parched on my bed watching the sun set I realised it has already been four long years since I returned to India post my year in UK where I had studied my Masters Degree. Memories flooded my head and I ran through a dozen of my favourite times, great friends and an awesome journey that I had. One year away from my country taught me enough for a lifetime and exposures like these remains with one forever.

UK has been an interesting guide to me since childhood and throughout my visits as a teenager I always fancied the fashion, their people and the lives they lived. I am blessed and glad to have been able to spend a beautiful year there by myself. It is surprising how a place could inspire you and change your outlook towards life entirely. My life after I shifted to UK took a topsy curve (thankfully in a good way) and the place inspired me in a way where I learnt better fashion sense, lots of travelling, a different way of education being taught to us and the importance of understanding myself the way I haven’t ever done before. I lived up to the saying of ‘having the time of my life’ literally and I will cherish those days for good. Above all, I made friends for a lifetime and I am glad that I have a bestie in almost all parts of the world! From partying all night, to late night studying sessions and learning each other’s cultures in our free time and cherished moments that I have taken along.

Soon after a year and a half, as I moved back to India I got busy into my routine life and work came along. I picked up new jobs, shifted to new homes and got married to my best friend who I had met in London itself. All in a span of four years! (Seems like a lot) Sometimes you feel like time doesn’t pass quickly and one day you realise that amidst those monotonous routines, so much has changed already. As we move on and get busy with our daily lives and events, we do not realise the need to take time-off & reflect or reminisce about the past or the memories that we lived. We tend to forget or loose touch with friends due to our constant focus on the present and future day! It seems odd when a Facebook post has to remind you of how long you are friends with someone.

Apart from the busyness and hectic schedules, we all must try to take sometime off, plan holidays with old friends, visit the place where you met your loved one or discover a new place all together! We all are only given a life to live and it isn’t a very long one for sure. Live brightly, smile often and believe that magic exists 🙂

FROM MISS TO MRS…

“There is no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect marriage. But the one I have is perfect for me.” -Fawn Weaver

So I have totally accepted that I am pathetic at sticking to deadlines. On the other hand, to make myself feel better, I tell myself that I was too consumed with things around to find time for some writing. For starters, my post’s title is enough for anyone to guess that I was the bride and getting married in India is the most hyped thing ever, thus the delay in my post!

With Indian weddings as a concept being large as it can get, mine was a destination wedding with a 4 day affair so one can only imagine the colourful chaos that we as a couple went through! All was worth it. Should hopefully touch upon the do’s and dont’s of a Big Fat Indian Wedding in my next blogpost. (Watch out, you to-be brides!)

So let me blurt it out finally, it still hasn’t sunk in me that I am married and I don’t think it will for the longest time. Hopefully that’s a good thing. Getting married is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world and I must say, if you are getting married to someone you love – its a cherry on the cake.

With December being my new favourite month now, as I sit quietly and scroll through some wedding pictures on my phone, I realise that I have been through one of life’s most important events. One, that a person could experience & remember for a lifetime. It brings me a hearty smile & some fond memories of fortunately experiencing this blissful feeling with my best friend sitting beside me to whom I have got married 🙂

Considering that I have been a nomad for the past decade, I am glad to have fortunately found someone who understands me exactly the way I need him to. With all the ups & downs that we have been through, I am happy that we sustained and are now at a balanced peak. I couldn’t have asked for anything more than this. I am thankful to God, to be born into a beautiful family who let me be and most importantly let me choose who I want to spend the rest of my life with. On the other hand, thankful to be married into a family who loves me like a daughter and also treats me like one. It cannot get any luckier than this!

Tonnes have been written on the concept of Marriage and what it is to have a perfect & ever-lasting wedding life. To my knowledge, it is two people who come together to live and experience life, who stand through storms for each other, be pillars for one another, have each other’s back for the rest of their lives and become one combine loved soul with two bodies. It may sound cheesy, but the only thing that matters in the end is how much you gave in & gave up, how well you know each other and how much you loved!

P.S. – To all my readers, I promise to try and write as much as possible. There are tonnes that I intend to write about Indian weddings and will hopefully do. I may also try and start a separate travel blog with interesting facts about the places that I visit. Hoping to keep up the writing spree! Keep reading.

 

THE SINGLE LIFE!

There is nothing more liberating than living life on your own terms! – Myself

I have a feeling that this post is going to be my most special one from all because it is solely based on me and my life and an emotional journey with the wonderful city of Mumbai.

Eight years ago on 20^thJuly, 2007 a young skinny me was one among those millions who came to Mumbai with bags packed of dreams. My only motive and rigid reason behind coming to this city was to start living life on my own! As cheesy as it sounds; at 17, I was the hyper teenager who was ready to leave everything (family, friends, my town, my home, my comfort zone) and move out. Luckily with the grace of god and my biggest supporters – my parents allowed me to move on with those big dreams and let me try my luck here, in Mumbai. Fortunately I got through admissions at Sophia’s – a wonderful college with a beautiful campus and most importantly a bunch of girls who were friends and now pillars of my life! I graciously completed my bachelors and moved on to work as a PR professional where I made wonderful work & client friends from whom I have learnt tonnes. Post work-mode for almost two years, I pursued my masters from the UK which is another beautiful chapter of my life, and then I returned to the city! I continued working here with a magazine & website and it’s been two more years here again.

Having given my readers a jist of my journey with Mumbai, today I am writing to tell you all how amazingly wonderful it is to live in this city alone which takes so much and gives you back double in return, always. I proudly feel that it does take immense guts and responsibility to leave home at a young age and explore new horizons. I am glad that I was one of those teenagers who could have actually done that at 17 (For readers abroad, moving out of your home at a young age is a very distant idea in India. Unfortunately, not many do that or are allowed to do so). I cannot thank these years enough for making me who I am today and the sole credit only goes to me. From days where I used to get lost in a cab, to learning how to take the Mumbai local, trying to adjust & compromise, understanding the value of parents, respecting money, learning to overcome fears (I did not know how to change a tube-light, I still do not know), making new friends, becoming bold and strong, accepting other religions & beliefs, learning to cook (I am good at making maggi & tea), most importantly making mistakes & learning from them, taking trips – long and short ones, enjoying the city in rains & drowning too (I still haven’t learned swimming), making friends wherever you go, becoming more social & friendly, being okay with anything and anyone around you, coping with living alone and mainly understanding that you need to be with yourself alone for a while in the whole day to self-reflect. There are a zillion other things that I have done, learnt, enjoyed and will always cherish, but the joy you get from living life alone with no one except you to be responsible for yourself and your life is incomparable. No parent, sibling, friend, school or teacher could ever teach you what you learn when you live life like a nomad, at least for a few years!

I may sound like a hippie or someone gone beyond her wits if I say that I am scared to get used to living with people around me or if I feel its abnormal to be around too many people in a house at once, but that’s what single life does to you! One becomes so accustomed to entering the house with absolute silence (which is so refreshing), cooking or ordering whatever you like (I always order), wearing the skimpiest or the raggiest piece of cloth available, dancing like a monkey if you are in a good mood or crying yourself to bed if you have had a bad day, there is absolutely no one to ask, say, or judge you on anything. I guess the only way to grow stronger and understand yourself better is by being alone for a while – even if it is for a year.

A small tip to Indian parents: Let your child be responsible for themselves. Do not let go off them completely but let them taste life in their own ways. Be there to back them up if they fall but trust them and set them free. I am not a parent and I am sure that this sounds easier said than done but it isn’t impossible if you let yourself to do it.

An encouraging tip to teenagers: Set one goal at a time and work slowly & patiently towards it. Always know what you want and why you want it. Be persistent and never give up easily. Stand up on your own feet and I promise you’ll always remain grateful to yourself.

A heart-felt thank-you to my family & friends: I had a lot of people from my hometown who disagreed on my idea to leave home young, I am glad to be able to prove to them today that it was all worth it. I thank my parents and siblings from the bottom of my heart to respect my decision, trust in me and allow me to fly away & make my own world; my Mumbai friends – some who were with me, some who aren’t and some who are still with me, all of you make a great package and I wouldn’t have been able to strive here with a smile without you guys; most importantly Mumbai – for being the city that you are. You have always welcomed me with open arms and cusped me into your heart. You have taught me things which no single person could ever have. You have taken so much from me but have given me double in return and I couldn’t thank you enough for that. You are my second home and there is nothing more comforting in knowing that no matter where I go, I will always return to you!

BIDDING ADIEU ‘PEACEFULLY’

“Do not Cry because it’s over, Smile because it happened“

Here is to hoping that all of my readers are doing well and I wish the best for you guys! June has always been an eventful month throughout my life, thanks to several birthdays (Mom, Dad, Brother, Two Grannies and Aunt – Yes that many!!) in my family that we usually celebrate. Unfortunately this month, I lost one of my grannies (Mom’s mother), which definitely does not leave me with an eventful June anymore.

A firm believer of God, a lady of grace, an ever shining face, a very concerned grandma and someone who had a warm heart is how I remember her. Myself being born in a mix-bred family with my mom being from Trinidad & Tobago and my dad being from India, I have fortunately had the opportunity to always be a part of two different worlds. For children who come from such backgrounds, they would know what fun it is to learn different languages, celebrate different festivals, adopt different cultures and believe in different religions at the same time! I have always looked up to my mother’s parents who respected my parents decision to marry and to let my mom leave them and her whole world, to settle down into a different region all-together! (This Era was 30 years ago!)

As they say that childhood memories always remain etched in our minds and how these memories usually are some of the best learning’s we internalize, I am glad I spent happy days with her. I recall my long summer vacations and those chilly nights spent in Trinidad with my Grandma in her bed listening to stories of Jesus, singing carols, eating home-made cake and holding her hand while we walked around markets searching for my favorite local snacks. Travelling to Trinidad was always exciting (though I used to cry like I’ll never see India again) because my siblings and I were the only grandchildren there, thus we were always the center of attraction. She loved us with all her heart and was very protective of us.

Love comes in different forms, the cutest and most unconditional form is the love from our grandparents. They usually are from a different generation, have seen and lived life differently and expect completely opposite things from us as compared to the life that we live. It is important that even if we do not relate to their old-school thoughts and are on a completely different page as to theirs – we should slow down for a while and just be theirs. Spending a few hours, calling them whenever we can, dropping them a message, praying for them are some of the few things we could and should do; because when they leave, they never come back! I met her seven years ago and skyped with her two years ago. The only thought that I remain with is ‘I wish I had done more’.

Death has never been a happy event for anyone and it goes unsaid that from hereon my trips to Trinidad will never be the same without her. While I know that she’ll always be in our thoughts and prayers, I am happy that she passed away in the most peaceful manner (which is difficult these days!). It is said that people who die peacefully are the ones who have lived a life without regret, pity and sorrow. I can confidently assure that she did the same and I am happy to be smiling because I know that she is in a happier place and is still going to be around us forever in her own ways !

P.S – Dearest Grandma (wherever you are and if you are listening), I owe you my second identity – Candice (my second name)! Thank you for the wonderful name which I’ll always hold onto. It is one of the biggest gifts you have given me which I’ll always cherish. I love you and I miss you a lot.

WHEN I FOUND HIM..

The best relationships usually start off unexpectedly…!

I have managed to break my new year resolution and unfortunately skipped last month’s post. However, I have this month’s post which will hopefully compensate for the whole year. It is a personal piece of news that I would like to share with all my readers and I hope you enjoy it.

As obvious as my blog post’s title and the image inserted above goes, I am proud and happy to officially announce to the Universe that I am in LOVE, the four letter word which is ever so hyped. There are different notions about the concept of love in our universe & endless theories on how it should be. Some say love is difficult, hard to find, consuming where you have to fight for it whereas some say it is magical, sparkly, effortless and one of the best feelings in the world. What I feel is that you cannot search or ask for love, you just get it unexpectedly and if it clicks perfectly, you are in for a joyride. The joyride will have endless bumps and a million freeways too but if you are smiling at the end of it, the journey is worth you and your partner.

Having been through relationships / crushes before, the concept or feeling of love wasn’t different or difficult to get used to. The mushiness, the bad days, the butterflies in your stomach, the excitement, the happiness and the cry cry baby days, had been through all of it and loved every bit of it. Time stood still in its own magical way and the universe worked its way around when I met him and nothing except a smile, a handshake and a brief introduction was shared, moving onto our own lives through the next few months. From acquaintances to friends and from friends to best pals is what made us.

You can be in love with someone who is completely opposite to you and with someone who is exactly like you. Luckily with us, it is the perfect balance of loving each other with all the imperfections we have and adoring the perfections that is god gifted. It feels bad to say that I live in a generation where everyone is searching for their own comfort and choosing their partners accordingly and sadly terming that as love. For me, love is the person itself with all the flaws and goodies as a package, someone who I can call home and equally feel like that every single time!

There comes a stage in everyone’s life when the dust settles down and you see clarity. The magic, the sparkles, the trials and tribulations – everything has settled down. Finally the universe has given way to me, to be his and for him to be mine. The feeling of being complete is when you are self sufficient, living on your terms and can stand up for yourself. However if you have a partner to give you that extra push and complete that circle, he or she would make a great accessory and life would be more than just a joyride! The journey is always yours to write and live, depends on who you want to spend it with.

P.S. – Dearest to – be hubby, since I did not gift you a letter this birthday like I always do, here is a public display of detailed affection for you! Just letting the world know that I am in Love with You, for the person that you are!